Kidnapped and Raped

Mariana, Mexico

Hello Dr. Patti,

Right now i am reading your book because i have a homework related to it.. i am a Psychology student from México... 
I was a victim of sexual abuse last year and this has been a really hard year because no one in my family knows about it.. I was kidnapped a few hours because this man drugged me and i was unconscious for 6 hours while he raped me and i don’t remember anything, i just woke up with marks all over my body and with pain on my private parts... he drove me nearby my house and then my boyfriend’s family convinced me to go to give a declaration to the police and so I did but they did nothing about it.. they told me i was lying because i didn’t remembered anything and they slut shamed me because how could i went to a bar with a “friend” if i had a boyfriend... i didn’t had bad intentions and how could i know what he was going to do to me..? 

Gracias, Mariana

Dr. Patti Responds:

Hi Mariana, 

 I am so glad you have Invisible Girls!  Do you have the Spanish version or English? I am also so glad you have chosen to read it related to your homework assignment. What has happened to you IS NOT YOUR FAULT AT ALL!! I am sorry that people have said senseless  things to you about the abuse you have suffered through! As you read in our book sometimes going to the police makes it even more difficult. I am so impressed that you did report it and that you have the support of your boyfriend and his family- this will help you through. I don’t know about the police in Mexico but here in the USA there are a lot of problems, and rape kits are kept for years without being tested. This time is about your healing, it is about you knowing that you did nothing wrong by going out with a friend to a bar. You were kidnapped, you did not even have the right to leave. This was a clear case of stranger rape. Please try to forgive yourself of any blame, seek out anyone who will support you and be kind to you about this trauma. As you will read in "Invisible Girls” all girls and women can heal from sexual abuse. Please look at the chapters on rape and stranger rape and know that you did nothing to cause this abduction and abuse. if you ever feel ready to tell your family, please feel free to do so, but know if you will be supported. stay in touch xx dr. patti