Raped at 17
I wanted to take a few moments to just thank you for writing this book. My boyfriend gave me this book to read after I told him (and only him) about what happened to me when I was 17. Up until I read this book much of what happened was still a blur in my brain. I knew the gist of what happened, I was raped. It was like I was blocking out what this horrible man did to me. After reading these girls stories and talking to my boyfriend about it the light came on and everything was clear. I remember every detail like it happened yesterday and as scary as that is, it gives me hope that I will be able to one day process what all happened. It pains me to remember his smell and his taste. I remember the house and the man he laid me on. I remember him choking me and covering my mouth to get me to stop screaming. I remember him writing emails and leaving voicemails on my phone telling me it was my fault and how he would kill me if I told anyone. I remember him dragging me to the bathroom to "clean me out" so I didn't get pregnant. It's a bittersweet feeling, but I know it's only going to get better now. I remember for a long time feeling like it was my fault because I went out with him and I allowed him to make my drink and I allowed him to take me to this remote place. I thought somehow I deserved what happened to me because I was just being a dumb little girl, but after reading your book and talking to someone about it, finally, I realize that he was the one to blame. I said no and he kept on going. I really feel like I was suppressing this memory and unknowing to me acting out for the past 6 years of my life with drugs and alcohol and stupid men. My heart goes out to these girls in this book. I can't thank you or my boyfriend for being so supportive and showing me this book. I can finally get on with my life and leave this horrible memory and event in the past. Thank you...for helping me process my past and enabling to move on and have a healthy relationship.
Dr. Patti responds:
What a wonderful and beautiful email you have sent me! I am so proud of your boyfriend for taking the time and energy to find Invisible Girls and then to give the book to you. This is exactly why I wrote Invisible Girls. So that girls like you could find it, girls that are alone with their pain and confusion and guilt - guilt for something that is not their fault. I wanted to reach out into the community of girls and young women on a magnified level. This is so satisfying to know that Invisible Girls has helped you understand that this rape was NOT YOUR FAULT and that the rapist is the one to blame. You are 23 years old now. This is a wonderful age, a time where you can get rid of all the stupid men that you used to connect to. Now you have a boyfriend that is deep and caring. Because he has seen so much worth to you he wanted to help you release this memory and pain. I have faith that you will walk proudly now and your steps will be so much lighter because now you have opened Pandora's Box and let out the memory. You can move forward now!!
................................oxo, dr. p.