11 Years Old From Iceland

Olga, Iceland


Dear Dr.Patti

I'm 11 years old girl from Iceland. First of all, I wanted to tell you that my mom is a very good person and helped me through this all. When I was almost four years old a man, who worked at my kindergarten sexual abused me for a few months. There where many women and one man working in my kindergarten. The women who worked there until 5 o'clock and the man worked at 6 o'clock. My mom and my dad have a company, and they worked until 6 o'clock. So I was alone with him and another boy, he was almost 5, he watched it happen.

The man told me to paint his penis and imagine it was a cat one time when my dad came to get me to the kindergarten I told him I didn't want to go to the kindergarten ever again. And I cried and I cried then when I got home he told my mom about it and I started talking to her and my sister, she was seventeen then, I constantly told my mom that my voice was tired because I didn't want to talk about it. Then one day my mother and me and my sister were bored so I asked them if they want to play a kindergarten game and I said to my mom that she should play me and my sister would be the boy that watched then I said "Bjørn (name of the molester) is coming tomorrow" then I told my mom that she should cry because she is playing me, then I said to my sister "you just need to watch" then my mom started asking me questions about it and I said "i'm tired in my voice."

A few days before I remembered when he was molesting me and the boy who watched said stop doing it to her then the molester said just what's and shut up or else I will do it to you. He told me if I told anyone about this little secret I would go to jail and he would kill my family and he told that to the little boy to.

I told my mom a few months later about it all. A few months ago I went to visit the kindergarten to talk to the headmistress; she was 15 minuet's late because she was on a meeting and I kind of had a flash for 15 minutes and I saw everything happen again the boy and me and him. The headmistress ruined my case against him. The boy said nothing happened because his mom said that nothing happens and headmistress asked the molester if he did this and of course, he said no. My story is over and thank you for reading this and I all so wanted to tell you that I am going to be a lawyer to get this bastard in jail and I also want to tell the girl that has been through this kind of stuff that you can get through this and this is not your fault and I never have tried suicide or cutting myself because I know that this is not my fault.

...........Kind regards, Olga.


Dr. Patti responds: 

Dear Olga; 

         Thanks so much for writing to me. I am so glad you have a loving family who is helping you and protecting you! You are so smart and so capable! This abuser sounds like a real monster to me! I think that the little boy is terrified and he is probably being abused, and other children too are probably being abused. All you can do is live your life in good ways and tell your truth. And your truth is that this man abused you and you told your family even though he told you he would kill your family, you KNEW that your family would believe you and stand by your side! Many families do not do that. But on the other hand, most abuse happens inside of the family and that is why so many girls can not tell anything until they are at least 18 and out of their homes- they know that no one in their family will stand by their side and protect them. But you have a supportive loving family and you knew somehow that they would protect you! You are a very brave young girl and I know that you can have a wonderful happy life. This monster is out of your life and he can not hurt you, and it sounds as if you are clear that no-one has the right to ever hurt you again! And yes, of course, you know NONE OF THIS IS YOUR FAULT! Bravo- have fun, do fun things that other 11-year-olds do. You have the freedom and safety to know that you can play and dance and make art and no-one will hurt you again! 

................................xoxo, Dr. Patti.